Survival of the Fruitiest

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Fri Nov 18, 2005 11:56 pm

There can be only one winner.

Post by **Delphine** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:01 am

Unless there is a tie.

CM August · Post by **CM August** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:12 am

We don't get any of that in Australia. I hate you all.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:15 am

Unless there is a tie.

You voted for that bigot Chocula, didn't you? Don't lie, because there are only two votes and I voted for Boo.

That's it, you're getting a dick in the ear.

Post by **Delphine** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 12:17 am

Green Gibbon! wrote:That's it, you're getting a dick in the ear.

It'll fit.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:11 am

.... Curses, foiled again.

The Doc · Post by **The Doc** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:33 am

You know who the true cereal monsters are? The kids.

Seriously, what in the fuck is wrong with them? Take Trix, for example. I mean, all they do all day is stalk the rabbit to make sure he doesn't get any Trix. And yet, at the end of every Trix commercial, the rabbit is ashamed for trying to get Trix, when in actuality, he's in the right. He just wants that fruity goodness. I remember one Trix commercial where the rabbit actually went into a grocery store, bought Trix with his own fucking money, and the goddamn kids took them from him anyway!

THE FUCK?!

What about Lucky Charms? Lucky...he's hungry. OK? He's a little person, he needs his nourishment. The last thing he needs is to be chased around the world, running and losing more weight. Yet, those little prick kids just keep chasing him, always after his Lucky Charms and the marshmallowy goodness.

And the worst part is, both of these can be avoided.

Trix Rabbit: A well-and-proper bitch-slapping. That's one option. Here's a better one: you're a rabbit. You have more offspring per capita than any other mammal. Strength in numbers, after all, keed. So, find a hot female Trix-wanting rabbit, fuck the everloving shit out of her, have about 80,000 to 90,000 little baby rabbits, and sic them on those bastard human kids. You will then officially control every piece of Trix in the known world.

Lucky: ...You're a motherfucking leprechaun. If you're sick of the running and shit, just remember--you're a magical being. SMITE THEIR ASSES. YOU TURN HOT-AIR BALLOONS, POTS OF GOLD AND RAINBOWS INTO MINIATURE CANDIES. FOR A LIVING. Surely you have a spell that will turn those little assholes into piles of ash. No, wait! Better yet! Turn them into marshmallows! Teach them a lesson: candy and sugar is bad for your health.

...

......

I voted for Chocula.

Post by **G.Silver** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 2:12 am

But did you ever look at it from the kid's perspective? Maybe those lucky charms are the only food around, and even though Lucky is perfectly capable of generating an endless supply of magical marshmallows, he insists on hoarding it all for himself! Typical leprechaun! We don't really know what the situation is prior to the start of the commercial, just that the kids are after him. Maybe he killed their parents.

I've never heard of Fruit Brute.

Post by **Pepperidge** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 2:16 am

Gibbon is such a product of the '80s.

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 2:24 am

I've never heard of Fruit Brute.

It was the one produced for the shortest amount of time.

Gay werewolf, basically.

Post by **G.Silver** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 2:27 am

Apparently discontinued when I was three. I can remember when Lucky Charms got the purple horseshoes a year later though.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 3:26 am

Apparently, that box of Fruit Brute that appears in some of Tarantino's flicks is his own that he's just been keeping since 1982. I bet it's good and tasty by now!

Gibbon is such a product of the '80s.

Yeah, I can't imagine when that started happening. I hated the 80's for most of the 90's, and I know I hated them as they were actually transpiring. The older I get the more I'm certain that everything that exists now is some huge lie or dream and that if I were to wake up, I'd walk outside and people would be wearing leg warmers and Reagan would still be president and the TV would still only go up to channel 13. I bet this is all some Soviet plot.

Light Speed · Post by **Light Speed** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 4:14 am

Hmm, maybe I'm not a big cereal guy or maybe 19 really is too young, but Count Chocula is the only one of those I've heard of. So I'm voting for him.

In other news, I heard the voice of Tony the Tiger died like a month ago.

plasticwingsband · Post by **plasticwingsband** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 5:20 am

i need to check albertson's to see if they still have boo berry

it's my favorite cereal

i love it with mouth

The T · Post by **The T** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 7:59 am

I think "Kaboom!" is the best. But it isn't a monster.

Brazillian Cara · Post by **Brazillian Cara** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 11:01 am

Corn Flakes for the win.
...what?

Double-S- · Post by **Double-S-** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 11:37 am

I've never heard of any of these choices.

Ngangbius · Post by **Ngangbius** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 1:16 pm

Chocula-Schlokola! There are plenty of chocolate based cereals on the market.

But how many cereals are blueberry-based? Boo Berry wins!

Zeta · Post by **Zeta** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 3:06 pm

Big Mix was the coolest cereal mascot of all time. He was a wolf chicken boar thingy. That's awesome.

j-man · Post by **j-man** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 7:25 pm

Americans get the best cereal.

Nova · Post by **Nova** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 7:35 pm

They dont sell Quaker sweet crunch here anymore-_-, is was my favorite cereal that didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t make me sick for having chocolate.

Count Chocula always had my vote.

Post by **Green Gibbon!** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 7:54 pm

I notice Fruit Brute has as many votes as Boo (easily the mightiest of the monster cereals, though its subtle art is clearly lost on you halfwit Chocula devotees), but I wonder how many people here have actually eaten Fruit Brute? I never have, and am very curious to hear what it tastes like.

Y'know what else I miss? Smurfberry Crunch. There have been a few cereals of late that have come close to mimicking it... Scooby-Doo Berry Bones are close, and Cap'n Crunch Swirled Berries are even closer, but nothing is quite there. I also miss Dinersaurs.

Brazillian Cara · Post by **Brazillian Cara** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:35 pm

Green Gibbon! wrote: Dinersaurs.

*BARF*
...yes, I tought the pun was that bad.

Majestic Joey · Post by **Majestic Joey** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 8:39 pm

I've voted for yummy mummy because it reminds my of my friends mom.

Post by **G.Silver** » Sat Nov 19, 2005 9:39 pm

I never have, and am very curious to hear what it tastes like.

I understand that it's exactly the same as Yummy Mummy.

I remember Dinersaurs (wasn't there also a kind of Chef Boyarde pasta by the same name?) but I assumed that all the other fruit-flavor cereals were the exact same thing, but missing that key ingredient of being shaped like a dinosaur.

I miss that cereal that's like shredded wheat or some other sort of thing, only it's stuffed with a dried up jam-like substance that's supposed to be "fruit." There were several varieties when I was a kid but nobody seems to make them anymore, or at least I don't see them on the shelves around here.

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Survival of the Fruitiest

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Survival of the Fruitiest